i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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