I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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