this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize