Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
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