I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?