I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
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We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE