I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Randomize
