I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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