Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Randomize
