DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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