if you like me you must not know who I am
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
