everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
