He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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