none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
