what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
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