I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
