update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
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I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
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