I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize