Barsexuality is the new black.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
