so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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