I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
