oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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