I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
