what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I'm having to shit out rocks
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
