Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I need a beard to bite.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
