Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
