the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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