was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
