If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I wish you could order shots online.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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