i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
