Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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