Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party