This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage