i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the day after is always just damage control
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say