he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
4 words: hood of his car
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
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Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
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Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.