im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.