Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles

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(512): View more from Texas

I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.

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(480): View more from Arizona

You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.

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(619): View more from California

You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.

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(607): View more from New York

I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.

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(818): View more from California

We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.

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(314): View more from Missouri

He's only going to be gone for two weeks

(1-314): View more from Missouri

That's two months in gay whore years.

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(313): View more from Michigan

I've been vomiting all day.

(248): View more from Michigan

All day? It's 10am.

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