I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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