I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
