Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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