i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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