Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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