Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
