im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
