do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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