There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My pussy is not your playground.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
