check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
