Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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