How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
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They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
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Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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