I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I understand Curling. That high.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
