Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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