i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
