I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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