the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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