i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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