This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
