I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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