Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize