thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize