It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize