I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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