Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize