I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
