Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
