what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize