You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
