For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My vagina is very pro this idea
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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