Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize