DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
