then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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