I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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